11 12 / 2010
ask emmy. part three.
Dear Emily,
About a year ago I started a new job. I had been unemployed for over a year and had already lost my car to repossession so now I have to use public transportation. There are the same few of us at the bus stop every morning and we all take the same bus. One of them is a very nice, older man with poor eyesight. He would always fumble, trying to find the right bills for the bus so one day I offered to help him. While I was in his wallet I stole a twenty dollar bill. After the first time I realized how easy it was and started taking a bill once or twice a week. This has been going on for about 7 months. He has never mentioned missing any money so either he doesn’t miss it or thinks he spent it without realizing what he was doing. I feel terrible but can’t stop myself. It isn’t enough money to make a difference to me in the long run but I can now have a nice lunch at work instead of bringing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Please, tell me how to stop robbing this dear man and how to make amends.
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This is different. The past two questions I could most definitely relate to. This one, I can’t. I would never be in this situation and not just because I’m so awesomely moral and righteous. It’s because I would never interact with a stranger like that in the first place, even a “nice” one who rode the same bus as me every day. And I’ve never really stolen anything. This, again, is probably not a result of being super moral. I’ve never needed to steal anything. Who’s got two thumbs and is spoiled? This girl.
But you, question-asker, don’t need to steal either. You would be just fine eating your PB&J everyday. So what motivates you? The excitement you feel due to the danger of getting caught? You feel the world owes you something? Not knowing makes the question harder to answer. But I digress.
How to stop robbing this “dear” man? That you obviously don’t give a shit about, I’d like to add. DON’T TAKE HIS FUCKING MONEY. You didn’t earn it. You don’t deserve it. It’s not yours. So don’t fucking take his money. How to make amends… hmmm. In theory, you should repay him every damn dollar. And tell him you took it. And deal with the SHAAAAAME.
But on the real, maybe keep helping him with his money and instead of taking a bill every day, put a bill in. That way you’re not really breaking the physical habit, but you get to stop being a total fucker and you’re making amends.
