15 12 / 2010
ask emmy. part six.
Dear Emily, I’ve been with my husband for nearly eight years. When we met, he weighed about 140 pounds, which wasn’t bad on his 5-foot-10 frame. Since then, he’s ballooned to 230 pounds! I know I should just be a grownup and tell him that it would improve our sex life if he lost the weight. The problem is this: I am a recovering anorexic. My husband knows and has been nothing short of wonderful, understanding, and caring about it since the beginning. Due to my issues, he would never make a disparaging comment about my weight—so how can I make one about his? But his weight is killing my desire for him! It feels so horrible and shallow to say, but I just want to be fucked by someone who isn’t so fat. He’s great in every other aspect, except for his weight. I’m at the point where I’m about to take up an invitation from an ex in town for the weekend just so I can have sex with someone who doesn’t have a belly. Is it wrong for me to ask my husband to lose the weight after everything I’ve put him through with my own issues? > Former Annie-Rexic Ok, Annie. I call you Annie rather than former Annie because it sounds like you still have some issues with weight… if not outwardly, inwardly. My guess is that your feeling about your husband’s weight is less about your (lack of) sexual desire for him and more about your own hang-ups regarding weight. Regardless, this is something you feel and it’s valid. It is not wrong to talk to your husband about his weight gain. You should be careful about what you say, however. Men don’t handle a sexual insult well. So I think it’s a better idea to talk to him about his weight in terms of his health. Which - BY THE WAY - is WAY more important than your sexual desires. So um, I’ll take this opportunity to tell you to stop being a selfish bitch. I only get harsh because you’re considering cheating. Out. Of. Line. That said, I think tactful honesty is always the best policy. He obviously was patient with you. Don’t you think you owe him the same?
